I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
