I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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