I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
