if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This toilet bowl is my home.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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