so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
