hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think my vagina is haunted
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
