Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
