is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
