did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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