I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
