the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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