Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
