she was so not down for the gang bang
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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