Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
