haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize