there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Fuck appropriateness.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
