Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize