she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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