scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You're like the curious george of whores
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
