His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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