I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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