Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just blew my weed a kiss
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
