Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
