We're facebook friends in real life
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So gin and wine won't be happening again
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
