i permit you to call me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
