lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
