look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
