Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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