There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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