and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She's the barista slut.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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