You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I want her autograph on my taint
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
