We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize