Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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