Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
