please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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