Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
