so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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