even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
be right there i have to get my cape
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
