actually, I'm a sock model
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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