David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
