6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
