toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
