I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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