It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
