i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
