He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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