3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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