I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
