After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize