***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
