i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
