so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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