After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
