My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
so much tequila, so little girl.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
