Buhtt sex?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
