After last night, I could never be a politician.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize