i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
