I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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