plz talk dirty to me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
