I am puke
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
