Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
