Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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