hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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