I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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