worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
