adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
